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Why Is He Not Popping The Big Question? Read This Before You Panic

Why Is He Not Popping The Big Question? Read This Before You Panic

Before you sound the alarm and cause all of your friends and family to worry about you, there might be underlying reasons (that are quite valid) as to why he is still not getting down on one knee. For all you know, while you’re wallowing in despair to your girlfriends, one of them is already plotting a revenge scheme on your boyfriend. Oh, those things never end on a pretty note – and you might just be misunderstanding the whole situation too!

You see, there are many possible reasons as to why you’re not hearing a proposal yet. And those reasons probably don’t include “He doesn’t love you” or “He’s just playing with you” so before you go reporting anything unnecessary to your friends and have them put on their battle suits for no good reason, it’s best if you try to see things from your partner’s point of view as well.

Are Commitment-phobic Men Real?

Yes, they are. They are as real as your annoying co-worker who never fails to make a very good day at work completely terrible. There are guys who shy away the moment they hear “commitment” being brought up to the conversation, especially when it is something lifelong. However, you can’t really say right away that your man is like this. After all, he wouldn’t have steadily gone out with you if his case of commitment-phobia is pretty severe.           

But why do such sorry ass men exist in the first place?

Well, I could think of several reasons off the top of my head:

  1. There’s Far Too Many Fish Swimming In The Sea

As much as I would hate to admit it, there are just guys who ogle at almost every girl they see. They stand there blatantly starting at every beauty that passes by; they don’t even try to make it less obvious. It’s probably because they’re not convinced that what they’re doing is wrong and insulting to their partners. After all, men are made to look right?

Of course, I am not implying that your partner is anything like this. I’m not saying he’s this too far gone. All I’m trying to say is that men like this exist whether we like it or not and chances of them settling down anytime soon is unlikely.

There is far too many fish in the sea. How could they be 100% sure that their destined fish is you?

  • He Has Past Trauma With Serious Relationships

This is also another common reason behind commitment phobia. It could be that the man who is your world right now once had his world shattered by another person and now, he’s too afraid to invest too much into your relationship. Does such drama still exist even to this day?

Yes, very much so. I would even say it’s a lot more melodramatic these days.

  • He’s Anxious About Relationship Fallouts

 Here’s a really simple reason why he won’t commit: He’s a coward and he’s probably aware of it. He’s too afraid about diving into the relationship head first so he always ensures a safe distance. He shuts down any mention of long term commitment or talks about the future. While he might overcome his own cowardice in fear of losing you in the future, the question lies in how long you are willing to wait.

  • He Just Doesn’t See You That Way

There are women you marry and girls you just have fun with. There’s a chance that you’re the latter to him. Of course, this only happens when you’re dating a douche so you’re better off not marrying that kind of guy anyway.

However, if you’ve already been together for quite a while (like a few years or so) and you’re still not seeing signs of any grand proposal soon, these factors might’ve already come into play:

He’s Become Too Comfortable

Trust me; there are men who will be 100% committed to you and love you more than anything else in the world but still haven’t thought about proposing. It’s because he’s become too comfortable around you and he doesn’t think to much into tying you down because he’s too confident that you’re going to be together forever anyway. This usually happens when you move in together before marriage.

Instead of a waiting for a grand proposal, you can just talk to him about it. I’m sure he’d welcome the idea. He just never thought about it.

He’s Overthinking It

You’re not the only anxious one in the relationship, you know. You may notice it but your partner is probably fighting off his own insecurities too. He might be thinking he’s not good enough for you and that there’s a good possibility that you would shut him down should he get down in one knee. Also, there’s the thing about planning for the future. He might be feeling defeated by his own insecure thoughts of not being able to give you the life you want.

Again, communication is key in handling this. You have to make him feel that you’re there for him no matter what.

He Thinks You’re Not Up For It Too

I don’t know if you’ve ever considered this but you might give off an aura that prevents him from asking you such a serious question. You might seem to be the “not marrying” type to him and that intimidates your partner from popping the big question.

Girl, go on and drop hints if you must!

You know what? Your partner might just need a little push from you. I’m not saying proposing yourself (although that would be cool too) but you should at least drop hints that getting hitched is already an idea you entertain. Maybe obviously browse ring collections online where he can see? We have a terrific collection, btw. Or, maybe buy a few wedding mags and put it in the reading section near the toilet. That ought to catch his attention!

But woman, even after dropping a multitude of hints and his awareness is still nowhere to be found, then you might want to re-evaluate your decision about wanting to marry such a dense person! Just kidding!