Dinner for Two? How to Maintain Intimacy Even After Having Kids
As couples, it can get difficult to keep love alive. This is usually the case when you reach a year or more into the relationship. After the wild yet fun ride with the honeymoon stage, it is time to face the reality that the relationship has already cemented itself in each other’s lives. It might still be young for most people’s standards, but it can also get a serious quote fast. You may not notice, but you will end up married at some point. Also, you can just live together as other people do.
At some point in the relationship, you would have to experience something similar to discontentment. It can be due to a lot of things. Some people may experience a lot of stress on other parts of their lives that it affects their home. Others are not satisfied with their current life and want more from another one. However, this is quite common when you already have children. It can be a little complicated, but this form of discontentment affects many couples all over the world. You might start wondering how other people stayed for a long time with others.
This is the reason why it is important to keep that spark of love alive between the two of you. It does not mean that you cannot do these things even when you’re old. There are some tips that you can apply in everyday life which can change the way you treat each other. Others may be for special occasions, but you can prepare that in advance. Always remember that change is done through small hops and not big leaps. It is a gradual process, so it would be best for you to start right now.
Keeping the Fire Alive
- Learn Your Each Other’s Love Language
As humans, we all have our ways of showing our affection to another person, Being a couple means that you should know this by now with each other. Some people tend to be very vocal and would say “I love you” all the time. Others may not be verbal, but would always compensate in actions. Don’t immediately get mad because he or she does not say those three magic words back. Focus on what they are doing, and see how they would care for you.
- Start with the Little Things
In keeping the love alive even after you already have children, some mistakes might affect the way you treat each other. These are usually little things like forgetting your anniversary date or not attending your child’s school event. It may just be little now, but it can add up and affect the relationship in the end. As a member of the family, you should always take time to make them feel that you are there even if you cannot be with them in their important moments. It would be nice for them to know that you are always thinking about them. You can make date nights into a regular thing. Schedule it every week and don’t miss every single one.
- Make the Special Occasions Mean More
Aside from the everyday existence as a couple, certain days of the year are special to both of you. As much as possible, you need to make them count. There is nothing wrong with preparing a grandiose party, for an anniversary or birthday but it doesn’t have to be that way. Most people with children would rather see them happy first than themselves. Why don’t you treat your partner on this special day to relax and unwind? A simple greeting or reminder would already put a smile on their faces. For your anniversary, you can make it more special by buying a new wedding ring from Simply Wood Rings to complement the occasion.
- Let the Children Be Just One of the Reasons to Stay
For most people, having children is already a deal-breaker. Once you have them as a couple, there is no going back. However, as you establish a relationship, the children are already a part of it. They should be the priority, but you need to keep the partnership working as well. If anything happens, they should not be the first casualty. As a couple, they must not be the only reason for you to stay with each other. It should be something more than just having offspring as being a responsible parent is different from a lover.
- Make More Memories Together
If you are an adventurous type of couple, you can always do a lot of activities that you might not have done before. Being in these situations helps you bond together again and creating more memories cement the relationship. It is not just about the thrill but also a way to learn new aspects of each other that you might not have known before. With this one, you are also bridging the gap to each other as you find more common ground. You might even find that spark once again that made the relationship work in the first place.
There is no recipe or step-by-step guide on how to deal with love. It is always based on experience and the individuality of the people involved. Keeping the love alive after you already have children is a tough challenge since it would be like dating again. You would be back to that stage of not knowing what to do and where to start. However, that makes it fun and you can interact more with your partner as well. There is nothing wrong with starting over again.
Some things need preparation, while others are just quality of life changes to the way that you live as a couple. Therefore, both big and small acts of love would contribute to the entire relationship. Although it would always depend on you as a couple, you just need to adjust and know each other even more. After all, a relationship is a balance between giving and receiving. Once the time comes that only one person is making the effort, then it would never work out anymore.